Hey guys, I'm back!
Today, I'd like to talk about changing personalities. I'm bringing this up because it was one of my IRL problems that forced me to step away from the computer and deal with real life.
I have this one friend; we were best friends for 5 years. One of our longest running jokes was making fun of those popular people with identical personalities and too much makeup--I think we all have those people in our lives at some point or other.
Well wouldn't you know it: the moment we stepped into middle school, she found a cozy little niche with the exact sort of people we used to ridicule.
Excessive makeup, swearing, the "I-don't-care" attitude, and the too-short skirts. Two years later, she was a carbon copy of them.
During the 2 years, we talked less and less. She had her friends, I had mine. Whatever plans we made always ended up being really awkward. Things had changed.
Well, who am I to judge her? No one. I'm not trying to say that it was her fault--a part was mine as well--but I guess it came down to this: the people we were were best friends, but the person she and I are now don't click.
And it's not surprising, people change; it's the natural progression of life.
...I had a point I wanted to make but in the middle of writing this, I lost it. So I bid you a 'hello' and 'farewell'. Oh, and thanks for listening to my sob story.
Jess.
P.S. Yes, I am back. But just saying: I'll probably be just as lazy as before with posting.
Showing posts with label Real life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Real life. Show all posts
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Goodbye for now!
Hey guys. As you might have gathered from the title, I'm taking a break from Wizard101. No, it's not because I don't like the game; quite the opposite actually. I'm distancing myself from the game until I can manage my life again.
Lately, I've been using W101 as an escape from all the real-life problems. As a result, I've deveolped somewhat of an unhealthy obsession. I don't know when it started, or when I realized it, but it sure hit me hard when I saw my grades today. Maybe it was the 'D'.
Using the game as an escape didn't help me. My grades are suffering, my problems have worsened, my brain feels overwhelmed. W101 was but a temporary fix for me that left me worse than I had been before.
So, I'd like to say a heartfelt "thank you" to everyone who's ever followed/read/commented on this blog. I never expected the feedback that I'd got :) I will shut this thing down for a while, but will still be active on Twitter. I just adore the community too much to completely leave.
Until next time (whenever that may be),
Jessica.
Lately, I've been using W101 as an escape from all the real-life problems. As a result, I've deveolped somewhat of an unhealthy obsession. I don't know when it started, or when I realized it, but it sure hit me hard when I saw my grades today. Maybe it was the 'D'.
Using the game as an escape didn't help me. My grades are suffering, my problems have worsened, my brain feels overwhelmed. W101 was but a temporary fix for me that left me worse than I had been before.
So, I'd like to say a heartfelt "thank you" to everyone who's ever followed/read/commented on this blog. I never expected the feedback that I'd got :) I will shut this thing down for a while, but will still be active on Twitter. I just adore the community too much to completely leave.
Until next time (whenever that may be),
Jessica.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Musings II: Life and True Reality
Just a head's up: This is non-W101 related. This post may confuse. It may mystify. It may befuddle. It may cause the reader to have chronic daydreams about burnt penguins. It may even...do nothing.
M'kay, now that we've got that out of the way, who's ready for some ramblings about life?
I'll start off by saying: this is the counterpart (counterpost?) to my other post: The Musings of Death, the World, and the Purpose of Life.
Rest assured, this one will definitely be more optimistic--I know I probably freaked some people out with the other post :)
Okay, senseless babbling starting in 3...2...1....
Okay. So what is being alive? By that I mean you in a living state.
The concrete answer, the universally (well, almost) accepted answer is: it's reality. It's the real world.
But is it really?
Think: what if the 'real world' you see every day was just a dream, an illusion? Who's to say that maybe our living state isn't even real?
To clarify, imagine this: the world around you everday is nothing but a figment of your imagination. All the people, places, creatures, everything--are just the creations of your mind. When you die, you don't die; instead, you wake up into the true reality.
And what if we ourselves weren't real? What if life and everything--anything--was just the products of another being's mind? What if everything we've known was nothing more than a higher being's experiment?
I don't really know where this came from, but I read a book once (sadly, I forgot the name) that really made me rethink--what really is reality? Where is the true, ultimate state of existence?
Also, notice how this post was almost entirely questions. Because these things will probably never be answered or proven.
So, your thoughts?
Jess.
M'kay, now that we've got that out of the way, who's ready for some ramblings about life?
I'll start off by saying: this is the counterpart (counterpost?) to my other post: The Musings of Death, the World, and the Purpose of Life.
Rest assured, this one will definitely be more optimistic--I know I probably freaked some people out with the other post :)
Okay, senseless babbling starting in 3...2...1....
Okay. So what is being alive? By that I mean you in a living state.
The concrete answer, the universally (well, almost) accepted answer is: it's reality. It's the real world.
But is it really?
Think: what if the 'real world' you see every day was just a dream, an illusion? Who's to say that maybe our living state isn't even real?
To clarify, imagine this: the world around you everday is nothing but a figment of your imagination. All the people, places, creatures, everything--are just the creations of your mind. When you die, you don't die; instead, you wake up into the true reality.
And what if we ourselves weren't real? What if life and everything--anything--was just the products of another being's mind? What if everything we've known was nothing more than a higher being's experiment?
I don't really know where this came from, but I read a book once (sadly, I forgot the name) that really made me rethink--what really is reality? Where is the true, ultimate state of existence?
Also, notice how this post was almost entirely questions. Because these things will probably never be answered or proven.
So, your thoughts?
Jess.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A Great Year Behind, A New Year Ahead
Hello! I am back in the USA with killer jet lag and no New Years cheer whatsoever!
Firstly, happy new years to everyone. I don't do resolutions because I always forget them by Feburary anyway.
2010 was a great year, ITS and IRL. Hope everyone's was good too. Now, methinks it's time for this Theurgist to do some reflectin'.
So what happened this year?
Celestia released, pet pavilion, gardening. Did I miss anything?
Also, I started blogging made a Twitter, so I guess I'm a #twizard now..?
This past year, I've discovered a great game with an equally amazing community, had a heck of a time in the Spiral, and of course, spent hours trying to get my Desparagus to face my direction.
Cheers to drunk poker parties outside my window.
Cheers to depressed veggies.
Cheers to a great new year.
.Jessica.
Firstly, happy new years to everyone. I don't do resolutions because I always forget them by Feburary anyway.
2010 was a great year, ITS and IRL. Hope everyone's was good too. Now, methinks it's time for this Theurgist to do some reflectin'.
So what happened this year?
Celestia released, pet pavilion, gardening. Did I miss anything?
Also, I started blogging made a Twitter, so I guess I'm a #twizard now..?
This past year, I've discovered a great game with an equally amazing community, had a heck of a time in the Spiral, and of course, spent hours trying to get my Desparagus to face my direction.
Cheers to drunk poker parties outside my window.
Cheers to depressed veggies.
Cheers to a great new year.
.Jessica.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Musings of Death, the World, and the Purpose of Life
Note: This is not Wizard101 related and deals with death.
Well the past few days have been quite sudden and startling. Sometimes, one jolt can shake your view of life, death, and everything else.
My friend's uncle passed away early this morning, having battled cancer for awhile. Myself, having experienced a similar happening, understood exactly how she felt.
My own relative did die but it was a while ago and the wound has since then healed.
It's really gotten me thinking.
One thing I've noticed is that unless you have gone through something like this firsthand, it's hard to offer comfort and sympathy to someone else who is.
Who really knows what lies behind the curtain? A burning hell or an eternal heaven? Or do you simply hang in limbo, strolling aimlessly forever?
And by nature, we fear the unknown. We fear the dark because our sight is useless. We fear change-there are many examples of that in our society-a new technology, a new treatment. We fear death because there is simply no way to ready yourself for such a vast, mysterious experience.
Also, I've been thinking about this: what are we living for? Our lives are but a swift flash in the progression of time. We spend nearly a century achieving our goals, hopes, and dreams just to lose them to death. What's the point of even existing?
Sure, some people have made brilliant discoveries that have revolutionalized the world, but what does that matter? Within a few (ten or hundred) thousand years, humans will be gone and their footprints and achievements will be washed away by time.
Now I realize this sounds like I'm trying to convince peope life isn't worth living for. I'm not. My point is that we choose what we want to do in the 80-odd years we live, but in the vast landscape of the universe, how does it matter?
No, this does not mean I'm going to run off and commit suicide.
On a less morbid note: Death has always been the biggest cliffhanger in any tale. "And then he died." But what happens next?
The concept of it is faraway. You can shove it in the closet and ignore the fact. But once it strikes so close to home (as was the case with myself and my friend), the giant unknown presence of it seems all the more real. You realize: you can't hide it in the closet and hope it doesn't get out because sooner or later, it will. And when the greatest mystery of life comes within arm's length of you, it makes you open your eyes and take a step back.
There's hardly a better wake-up call than it. And though tragic, it really sparks a lot of new ideas too.
Okay. Done with the depressing stuff. Sorry if that was tedious or downright nonsense, I just felt like I needed to get my thoughts into writing.
I also said I wasn't posting again until January but when life throws you a curveball, adapt right?
Happy almost holidays (just to end this on a happier note)
Jessica.
Well the past few days have been quite sudden and startling. Sometimes, one jolt can shake your view of life, death, and everything else.
My friend's uncle passed away early this morning, having battled cancer for awhile. Myself, having experienced a similar happening, understood exactly how she felt.
My own relative did die but it was a while ago and the wound has since then healed.
It's really gotten me thinking.
One thing I've noticed is that unless you have gone through something like this firsthand, it's hard to offer comfort and sympathy to someone else who is.
Who really knows what lies behind the curtain? A burning hell or an eternal heaven? Or do you simply hang in limbo, strolling aimlessly forever?
And by nature, we fear the unknown. We fear the dark because our sight is useless. We fear change-there are many examples of that in our society-a new technology, a new treatment. We fear death because there is simply no way to ready yourself for such a vast, mysterious experience.
Also, I've been thinking about this: what are we living for? Our lives are but a swift flash in the progression of time. We spend nearly a century achieving our goals, hopes, and dreams just to lose them to death. What's the point of even existing?
Sure, some people have made brilliant discoveries that have revolutionalized the world, but what does that matter? Within a few (ten or hundred) thousand years, humans will be gone and their footprints and achievements will be washed away by time.
Now I realize this sounds like I'm trying to convince peope life isn't worth living for. I'm not. My point is that we choose what we want to do in the 80-odd years we live, but in the vast landscape of the universe, how does it matter?
No, this does not mean I'm going to run off and commit suicide.
On a less morbid note: Death has always been the biggest cliffhanger in any tale. "And then he died." But what happens next?
The concept of it is faraway. You can shove it in the closet and ignore the fact. But once it strikes so close to home (as was the case with myself and my friend), the giant unknown presence of it seems all the more real. You realize: you can't hide it in the closet and hope it doesn't get out because sooner or later, it will. And when the greatest mystery of life comes within arm's length of you, it makes you open your eyes and take a step back.
There's hardly a better wake-up call than it. And though tragic, it really sparks a lot of new ideas too.
Okay. Done with the depressing stuff. Sorry if that was tedious or downright nonsense, I just felt like I needed to get my thoughts into writing.
I also said I wasn't posting again until January but when life throws you a curveball, adapt right?
Happy almost holidays (just to end this on a happier note)
Jessica.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Identity Crisis and an Announcement
Well I decided to dust off my Grandmaster Balance and take her through Celestia.
As I PvPed with her, and did some questing, I came to a startling realization: I enjoyed playing my Sorcerer more than I did my Theurgist.
I LIKED not being a healing machine who kept everyone alive. I LIKED helping out others but still having attack power of my own. I didn't want to be the weak one who everyone depended on, but rather someone who could match you in attacks and still be helpful.
And PvP was *so* much more fun! When I was Life, I was the instant target from the start. Pelted with spells from start to finish and healing like a psycho. I didn't have fun with this tiring cycle.
However, a Balance person in PvP is usually ignored; the common perception is that our power only lies in Judgement. I liked having free will to do my own thing for a while. I could help any teammate I was paired with. I could launch a surprise attack of my own, if needed. But most of all, I wasn't the bloody-red bull's eye for the entire match! It felt so amazing to have a change from that.
Another 'big relief' was that if we were to lose a fight, it couldn't be blamed on me, well at least not entirely. As Life, it is your job to keep everyone in as long as possible. A lost match could always be pinned on "You didn't heal soon enough" or "Why didn't you have the right heals in your hand?" and so on.
But being Balance, you don't have to be the one being squished by all the pressure coming from your own side and the opponents.
So I guess I'm in the middle of an identity crisis: am I really JessTheTheurge anymore? Or Jessica GreenRiver? Or am I now JessicaDreamriver?
Who am I?
And now, onto the announcement: I probably won't be ITS or on Twitter or posting on this blog. At least, not until after New Years. I'm going to be out of the country during then. So for now, have a happy holidays everyone, and see you soon!
Bye for now,
Jessica
As I PvPed with her, and did some questing, I came to a startling realization: I enjoyed playing my Sorcerer more than I did my Theurgist.
I LIKED not being a healing machine who kept everyone alive. I LIKED helping out others but still having attack power of my own. I didn't want to be the weak one who everyone depended on, but rather someone who could match you in attacks and still be helpful.
And PvP was *so* much more fun! When I was Life, I was the instant target from the start. Pelted with spells from start to finish and healing like a psycho. I didn't have fun with this tiring cycle.
However, a Balance person in PvP is usually ignored; the common perception is that our power only lies in Judgement. I liked having free will to do my own thing for a while. I could help any teammate I was paired with. I could launch a surprise attack of my own, if needed. But most of all, I wasn't the bloody-red bull's eye for the entire match! It felt so amazing to have a change from that.
Another 'big relief' was that if we were to lose a fight, it couldn't be blamed on me, well at least not entirely. As Life, it is your job to keep everyone in as long as possible. A lost match could always be pinned on "You didn't heal soon enough" or "Why didn't you have the right heals in your hand?" and so on.
But being Balance, you don't have to be the one being squished by all the pressure coming from your own side and the opponents.
So I guess I'm in the middle of an identity crisis: am I really JessTheTheurge anymore? Or Jessica GreenRiver? Or am I now JessicaDreamriver?
Who am I?
And now, onto the announcement: I probably won't be ITS or on Twitter or posting on this blog. At least, not until after New Years. I'm going to be out of the country during then. So for now, have a happy holidays everyone, and see you soon!
Bye for now,
Jessica
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Excuses and Musings
Hey Spiralites. Sorry I haven't posted the past few days. Yeah, it's school. I've just been getting pile after pile of homework, not to mention the Science Fair as the cherry on top *shudder* I have yet to complete an experiment with good results. Then I had 2 quizzes.
I've also been hard at work trying to produce a half-decent chapter for my FictionPress story. And the only other chapter is the Prologue :-/
So under this giant mound of excuses, I'm just trying to say, I'm still going to update this blog and go into the Spiral, but real life comes first, and TBH, real life is kind of overwhelming right now. So there may not be posts for a while, not that I have much to report nowadays. Sorry.
On a different note, I just re-read the book Uglies and as bad as it seems, I think their city has got something right.
The thing is, technology advancements in medicine are made at a fast pace, meaning people will live longer and can have more children, but at what cost?
At first glance, it seems like a good thing. More people can live longer, healthier lives. However, this just further serves to unbalance the Earth, because it had to work harder to support the increasing population and right now, we're literally suck our planet dry.
A fellow classmate has pointed out: statistics show that some of the European countries are actually decreasing in population. However, the population in many other countries are increasing faster than the countries with a shrinking population are decreasing. So the scale is still wobbling to one side.
Now in the world of the book Uglies, technology and medicine are extremely well-developed but the city enforces population control. They also preform an operation that keeps teenagers 16 and older in a permanently mellow state. Seems like horrible, mindless zombies? Well they are but the good thing is that there's no murders or robberies, nor are there wars. And no overpopulation. Just being happy and ignorant.
There's a lot messed up with that world, but there's a lot right with it too. There might just be something we could learn from them.
Thoughts?
I've also been hard at work trying to produce a half-decent chapter for my FictionPress story. And the only other chapter is the Prologue :-/
So under this giant mound of excuses, I'm just trying to say, I'm still going to update this blog and go into the Spiral, but real life comes first, and TBH, real life is kind of overwhelming right now. So there may not be posts for a while, not that I have much to report nowadays. Sorry.
On a different note, I just re-read the book Uglies and as bad as it seems, I think their city has got something right.
The thing is, technology advancements in medicine are made at a fast pace, meaning people will live longer and can have more children, but at what cost?
At first glance, it seems like a good thing. More people can live longer, healthier lives. However, this just further serves to unbalance the Earth, because it had to work harder to support the increasing population and right now, we're literally suck our planet dry.
A fellow classmate has pointed out: statistics show that some of the European countries are actually decreasing in population. However, the population in many other countries are increasing faster than the countries with a shrinking population are decreasing. So the scale is still wobbling to one side.
Now in the world of the book Uglies, technology and medicine are extremely well-developed but the city enforces population control. They also preform an operation that keeps teenagers 16 and older in a permanently mellow state. Seems like horrible, mindless zombies? Well they are but the good thing is that there's no murders or robberies, nor are there wars. And no overpopulation. Just being happy and ignorant.
There's a lot messed up with that world, but there's a lot right with it too. There might just be something we could learn from them.
Thoughts?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
School
School is in session as of today, which means less Wizard101 and less bloggy time.
My first day went without a hitch, except for those dreaded speeches about expectations, procedures, and rules. I can't say the same for my sister though. She got on the bus home instead of going to the "afterschool-care" program. Luckily, some nice people in our neighborhood found her!
It turns out, the school messed up her file and they made her take the bus instead of staying in aftercare :-/
Mistakes happen but all I could think about is "What would've happened if no one found her?"
My first day went without a hitch, except for those dreaded speeches about expectations, procedures, and rules. I can't say the same for my sister though. She got on the bus home instead of going to the "afterschool-care" program. Luckily, some nice people in our neighborhood found her!
It turns out, the school messed up her file and they made her take the bus instead of staying in aftercare :-/
Mistakes happen but all I could think about is "What would've happened if no one found her?"
Friday, September 3, 2010
Goodbye summer. Hello school.
Hey guys. I'm in a bit of a blue mood today because, well...this is the last official day of summer vacation. Meaning:
1. No more Wizard101 all day.
2. Reconnecting with friends.
3. Mental effort (ugh.)
4. Less blog posts.
Besides being sunburned like toast today, I have nothing to share except melancholy moods and nostalgia of a summer past.
JGR
1. No more Wizard101 all day.
2. Reconnecting with friends.
3. Mental effort (ugh.)
4. Less blog posts.
Besides being sunburned like toast today, I have nothing to share except melancholy moods and nostalgia of a summer past.
JGR
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